So what’s it gonna be?

Two days until I go into hospital, so it’s time to decide what this experience is going to be. The way I see it, it can go one of two ways. It can either be the worst experience of my life so far, or the first step of the biggest adventure of my life so far.

This blog has received over 1000 visitors since I first started it. It’s put me back in contact with old friends, connected me with the Chiari support community and given me a space to share my experiences and findings. I certainly never expected that a blog like this would be a success, and I hope it continues to help others with Chiari malformations long after my surgery experience is over. Even though my experience has only just begun, I’d like to thank everyone who has been reading and commenting here. I may be silent for a while now, but I will let you all know how my surgery went and what it was like as soon as I’m able.

Tonight, my family and friends who live nearby are having a Viking feast to celebrate my upcoming adventure. I really didn’t know if I’d be able to muster up enough strength to host a dinner only a few nights before my surgery, so I’m quite proud of myself for hanging in there and finding a reason to celebrate rather than let it get the best of me. Tomorrow, my mother and sister are taking me out for the day. Anything to keep me busy, to keep me from feeling down or anxious. Keeping busy is much better than just sitting at home, where my fatigue takes over and I find myself inclined to just stay in bed all day.

So clearly, whether my anxiety has accepted it or not, this is going to be an adventure, not a massive dramatic catastrophe. I just have to keep my chin up, think of the good things, stay in good company, and before I know it I’ll be on the other side.

6 thoughts on “So what’s it gonna be?

  1. Ella I wish you all the best of everything, this is the big adventure. I will be thinking of you and trying my best not to bother the crap out of pat for news of how you are doing. If there is anything I can do for you at home while you are away please mention it.
    Thank you for the constant posts, I have enjoyed learning and I know it probably has taken a bit not to just get in there and moan. I think I would have used a bit of space for moaning – maybe when you come out the other end? ( moaning about hospital food is a usual).
    Anyhoo stay with the positive attitude and educate us more soonish.

  2. Wow! You inspire me……I hope I am able to be as strong as you, as my time gets closer for my surgery. I have a huge problem with anxiety and depression and I feel it already trying to take over my mind and body. Its true, you just need to stay busy and be surround by your friends and family or you do fall into that depression state of mind. I cant stop my mind from running 24/7. I wish you the best of luck and I will be thinking about you and keeping you in my prayers. I look forward to read about your experience when you are well enough to share. Enjoy your feast!!!!

  3. The fact that you can see this as an adventure is a testament to your strength of character and your zest for life. Yes, it will be challenging (my Chiari surgery was Nov ’05) but your attitude will serve you well in your healing process. I wish I could say that this would be the final chapter in your story. Alas, it is only the beginning as success with Chiari will always be about management. I wish you all the best and I will keep you in my prayers.

  4. Wow, I just found your blog today. I hope you are doing well! Our 20 month old daughter was just diagnosed with Chiari 1, 10mm, a few weeks ago. We are heading to Duke Children’s Hospital next week to meet with a pediatric neurosurgeon. Thank you for your updates!

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