Well it’s been a little while since I wrote in here, because honestly I think I’ve wanted to get as far away from the idea of brain surgery and disabilities as possible since I have been recovering so well. No such luck, though.
If you’ll recall, last time I wrote here I was saying that my wound had opened up and that I was worried I might need stitches. Well, instead of stitches they just taped me up with some steristrips and told me I’d have a big scar. I wasn’t very concerned about it and the wound appeared to be healing over, so all was well.
Shortly after, however, a hole opened up in the middle of the wound and clear fluid began seeping out. It was only a tiny bit, so I assumed it was nothing and ignored it for a few days, but then one day when I went to check the wound I had fluid drip down my neck. Luckily I had a neurologist appointment the next day, as naturally we were all concerned that my duraplasty might have been leaking, which would require further brain surgery to fix. Usually a CSF leak would present with headaches and other symptoms though, so I wasn’t too anxious.
Well, my neurologist took at look at my badly healing wound and said: “Let’s get you back into surgery. We won’t know until we open it up whether you have a CSF leak or not, but even if you don’t we should cut out the parts that aren’t healing properly and stitch you back up again”.
So, I’m back into surgery on Wednesday! Hopefully it’s just a minor slice, dice and staple, and I’ll be able to go home the day after. If they find I have a CSF leak though, I will need brain surgery all over again and have to deal with the whole recovery period again. Honestly, I’m not sure how well I can handle that idea, as last time things may have gone perfectly but I’m not going to deny that it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced and I am not keen to repeat it. I’m sure I will find the strength if I need to, though.
Aside from needing more surgery, things have been amazing. My disability has completely vanished and I barely experience any Chiari symptoms any more (the only exception being a pain in my arm once, which funnily enough seems to have switched from my left arm to my right. Odd). I’ve enjoyed noisy night clubs and death metal concerts, flashing lights, high pitched sounds and Dance Dance Revolution at game arcades, being able to do basic cleaning and cooking, and enjoying laughing so hard that I can barely breathe with my friends. Honestly, in the last week or so I’ve had more fun than I’ve experienced in the last three or even four years. Things have been so amazing that I can scarcely believe it. It feels like becoming human again.
So, here is hoping I have a quick and drama free stay in hospital this Wednesday and can get back out there to enjoy my adult life for the first time in… ever. I’m very much looking forward to getting a job and doing some volunteer work as well as catching up with my old friends I haven’t been able to spend time with in years.